Way back in the winter of 2015, before the world went mad, it was put to the public that lawyers are boring party guests. Here, I counter that suggestion.
You've made the Facebook event, hired a venue, (or cleaned the house), and purchased copious amounts of crisps (hummus not optional). This can only mean one thing; you're hosting a party.
Inviting a lawyer does not initially seem as essential as creating an unrivalled playlist for your party, or locating reasonably priced reusable straws (obviously one cannot be caught dead with unnecessary plastic - it is 2018 after all). However I would strongly argue that receiving their confirmation of attendance is just as important as the positioning of your chosen decorative bunting, signalling the striking of social gold, and subsequent party success.
Why you should invite lawyers
1. We'll be the first ones there
For the party host, 8 o'clock inevitably rolls around and brings with it the familiar all-consuming cocktail of panic and dread; what if no-one turns up? What if my nightmare becomes reality and it is in fact just me, the nibbles and the neighbour?
There is something you can do to manage this particular risk - invite any member of the legal sector! Barristers, solicitors, clerks, chartered execs and paralegals alike are almost guaranteed to arrive early because although your biggest fear might be being stood up in your own home by 30 of your closest friends and family, nothing strikes terror into a lawyer quite like the prospect of being late.
2. ...And probably the last to leave
Within the legal sphere a full night's sleep is very much the exception not the rule, deemed a superfluous luxury rather than a basic necessity for effective human functioning.
And although inviting a lawyer will inevitably require an additional invitation for the ever-present bags under our eyes, our potentially unrivalled ability to stay awake well into the early hours makes us more than an ideal party guest. When 2AM hits it'll be you, us, and anyone who works for the NHS.
3. Awkward silence? You wish!
Us lawyers aren't exactly renowned for being un-opinionated introverts. Having one of us around almost guarantees guests will not have to pull the 'I'm just going to get another drink even though the one in my hand is quite obviously full' manoeuvre, due to an excruciatingly deafening lack of chit-chat.
Plus if we have exhausted all avenues to no avail, including the weather forecast for the next 7 days, then said legal persons will not be afraid to bring out awkward silence's true and much feared kryptonite; BR*XIT.
4. Master of the Bench? More like master of the undetectable fake laugh
Our reputation for being fun might be debatable, but what definitely isn't is our ability to feign a chuckle. Trust us, not only are we perfectly used to cracking up at jokes that aren't funny, we can also double over when we've heard that one before. Many, many, many times.
What's that? Someone is drinking from a bottle of beer and another has just made the joke involving the shocking presence of a certain unwelcome invertebrate at the bottom? (Cue aforementioned fake laugh.)
5. Mingle level: Olympic
It's safe to say any solicitor, barrister or member of the legal profession will probably have to attend the same number of networking events as their age per year. This means that not only will we talk to your weird neighbours for over an hour, we'll do it with a smile!
Even if you only invited them because it seemed rude not to, and the only words you have ever exchanged are regarding failed parcel deliveries, don't worry, we've still got your back!
6. Aaaand finally, at least we're not investment bankers
Let's be honest: as party guests, investment bankers make lawyers look like primary school teachers; positively warm, approachable and maybe even cuddly.
If you're still unconvinced about whether to invite that friend who you know does something involving the law, just remember that if nothing else at least they are the lesser of two evils…surely….
Views expressed in our blogs are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect those of the Law Society.
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